I guess I will start by admitting that I have a lot more fun going out to brunch/lunch with friends or my boyfriend than I do my husband. He doesn’t talk much. We already know how the other’s week went. We are well caught up on what’s ahead for the next week. Or at least he’s caught up on me — like I said, he doesn’t talk much.
After my boyfriend ditched me for the THIRD week in a row and my one downtown Boston girlfriend with no responsibilities was out of town, my husband took pity on me and we went on an afternoon date. It all started out great. He let me know where we would be going on our honeymoon and I squealed with delight that he was even thinking about that sort of thing. (we never got to go on one — long story for another post) We dodged and weaved our way through public transportation to the north end, which is my favorite of all favorites in Boston. And as we walked along, I thought about what we might talk about over lunch. And thought. And then realized it was going to be that situation where everyone is all sad for the married couple that doesn’t talk to each other while eating out. It’s not like we don’t talk at ALL, but I’m definitely not animated the way I am for my boyfriend or girlfriends.
So what if we don’t talk a lot? We don’t need to. And isn’t that even more comfortable? When you can look at someone and know what they’re thinking already? When you have a connection where things don’t need to be explained? I think so. It was not a small victory that I got him out of the house for multiple hours, so I will continue to focus on what is great about us instead of what could be different.